Smoking a Survey and Heading Home

I’m a teacher who tutors kids of classes I to V.
I’ve studied only up to class XII
I earn Rs 8,000 a month
I smoke small Gold Flakes, that too a packet of 10s a day with an occasional puff of Wills Navy Cut
I have been smoking for the last eight years and have become a ‘regular’ in the last four.

This isn’t my CV, but the response sheet which a consumer survey guy filled up on my name and I was ‘gifted’ a set of glittering yellow bowls as a token of appreciation for my ‘efforts.’ The real me didn’t fit their customer profile so he invented the aforementioned profile and pleaded me to repeat the same if asked by his superiors. I played along to see what happens next, only to find that all the respondents there were actually non small Gold Flake smokers masquerading as one – for half-a-dozen kitschy bowls – somehow persuaded by the ‘researchers’ so that they can achieve their respondent targets.

Nothing surprising. Surveys are often conducted in similar fashion. I have another set of green jars (but not as tawdry as the bowls) to prove my point. Besides, I too worked as a research investigator once. Hence, we should never take surveys, polls and similar gimmickry too seriously. And if the proposed slim ciggie set to take on small Gold Flake goes up in flakes, the company knows who to blame. By the way, does anyone want a set of six golden glass bowls, ideal for serving ice-cream, curd, custard etc? They can also double up as ashtrays.

And this blogger is again off to his favourite destination – home and hopes to keep on posting, albeit a little irregularly.